Confused about theatre dialogue? Read this and you’ll be off book in no time!

Stalls: Thankfully these aren’t the kind of seats you find at the bar or at a kitchen island (we don’t know about you, but our current core strength means we can only support our bodies for up to two minutes, and back support is ESSENTIAL if we’re going to stay upright for the entire performance). The stalls are the name for the seats on the ground level of the theatre. They are slightly raked (on an upwards slope) and are positioned lower than the stage itself, so you are looking up towards the performers the closer to the stage you are sat. Premium Stall seats (the best in the house) tend to be located six or seven rows from the front of the Stalls.

Dress Circle: Sometimes referred to as the Royal Circle (you know, just to confuse things), the Dress Circle is one jump (or a flight of stairs) up from the Stalls. The front rows of the Dress Circle are among the best seats in a theatre as you have clear sight lines (view) of the stage, and are eye level with the performers. The royal family and other noble people used to sit at this level when they attended performances at The Globe, so if you sit here you’re in good company. However, some people prefer to sit closer to the action and actors. Like everything in life, it’s all a matter of personal preference.

Upper Circle: Sometimes referred to as the Grand Circle (again, why have one word for something when you can have umpteen) this level sits above the Dress/Royal Circle. As you ascend to greater heights, the price you pay for your seat decreases, but this doesn’t mean your experience will be cheapened. The magical maestros upon the stage possess an uncanny knack for bending space and time, ensuring that their awe-inspiring performances find their way to you (they can project). Depending on the theatre, the front rows of this level are just as good as those at the level below, so you’ll have plenty of spare change for the interval G&T.

Balcony: Confusingly the balcony is located inside the theatre, and not outside it. Not all theatres have this level, but the larger ones, such as The Palace Theatre, do. The Balcony is the level above the Upper/Grand Circle. These are usually the cheapest seats in the house, allowing for all budgets to experience the joy of live theatre. The flights of stairs you’ll climb to reach this level also means you’ll save on a gym membership.

First Preview: Previews are the bridge between dress rehearsals and the show’s opening night. Open to the public at a reduced rate, the first preview allows the creative team time to identify problem areas and find opportunities for improvements in the production that weren't found during rehearsals. Due to this the show may drastically change from the previews to the ‘official’ run. For example, 2015’s production of Hamlet changed the placement of the famous ‘To be or not to be’ speech from the beginning of the production to the end after the audience’s reactions from the previews.

Opening Night: Although the show may have been playing to the public for several weeks in its previews, the show officially opens/begins on the opening night. The production is now cemented in place, so if you see the show on its opening night or at the closing performance, there shouldn’t be any noticeable differences.

Press Night: This usually takes place around a week after the opening night. The press night is when critics and bloggers are invited to watch the performance and write their reviews for publications and the show's posters. Celebrities are usually invited to these performances to cheer on their famous chums. You may be able to catch a glimpse of these famous faces on the theatre's red carpet before the show!

Ensemble: The ensemble are on-stage performers that, typically, do not play a named character within the show. These actors sing and dance in union in order to help build the atmosphere and help create the ‘world’ of the piece. They tend not to have spoken lines or solos within the production but are integral to the performance as a whole.

Understudy: Understudies are usually members of the ensemble. These actors are called upon to cover a principal (lead) role in the production if the actor who usually performs this part is unable to do so (for example they are on holiday or are ill.) Understudies usually cover one or two lead roles, which they will need to be able to perform at a moment’s notice, as well as having their own ensemble steps and songs to remember and perform night after night!

Swing: This doesn’t refer to someone who specialises in this particular style of dance (though these multitalented, multidisciplined performers most probably are). Swing members do not have their own specific role in the production, but are responsible for covering any of the parts of the ensemble. This means that they must know all of the ensemble’s roles in all of the group numbers and be ready to perform any of these roles at the drop of a sequined hat.

Stage Door: This isn’t a door on the stage, though many shows have this (in fact A Strange Loop has five) this is the door the cast and creatives (actors and backstage crew) use to get into, and out of, the theatre. Some theatregoers will congregate at the Stage Door (usually found around the corner from the main theatre doors) to get a glimpse, selfie or autograph of their favourite performers. It isn’t always guaranteed that you will be able to meet your favourite stars, and if you do you may not get long with them (they are performing 8 times a week, and will need to recover in time for their next performance!) but it is a great way to show your appreciation and maybe take home an additional memento (along with the memories, programme and tote bag of course).

The Bell: That buzzing sound means it’s almost time (no, not for your annual hearing check-up, or your antihistamine tablet), it’s almost time for the show! Theatres will ring a bell, or a loud buzzer, to let you know that the performance is about to begin. When you hear the bell/buzzer, make your way to your seats. Most shows have a strict latecomers policy, meaning that if you are not in your seats by the time the show starts, you may not be able to get to them until a certain point later on in the show (usually when there is a blackout* in the performance)

*Blackout: The entire stage goes pitch black.

Ice Cream: We know you know what this is, as the famous saying goes, we all scream for the stuff. However, we feel like this needs to be shared: the spoon is in the tub. You do not need to hunt for a spoon or ask the usher for one. The spoon (which granted looks more like a fish and chip ‘fork’ without the prongs) is located in the lid of the tub, or be it hidden behind a white piece of cardboard.