Ten signs that you are in a Comedy:
1. Somebody mistakes you for a different person, and there is absolutely no possible way of correcting them.
2. You are very foolish. This is funny.
3. Unlike everybody else, you did not see that coming.
4. You rely on wit to mask your deepest insecurities. Somebody realises this, and you immediately fall in love with them.
5. You are either extremely intelligent or astonishingly stupid. Either way, you think that you are extremely intelligent.
6. Misfortune is hilarious.
7. You fall over quite a lot.
8. Everything is ambiguous. Most of the time, you are not really sure what is going on.
9. You struggle to believe in seriousness. Your usual response to adversity is: does it really matter?
10. Everything is an innuendo.
So you're in a comedy. Everybody is laughing at you. You keep making the same mistake over, and over, and over again. Now what?
1. Don't worry too much; all's well that ends well, and this will probably end well.
2. Be aware that, within the next 120 minutes, you will likely be married.
3. Be aware that, if you don't like somebody at the moment, it is probably they that you will marry.
4. Try to make somebody else “the fool”. Trip them up, or throw something at them.
5. Watch out for: banana skins; wobbly looking ladders; people in masks; people loudly whispering to one another about top secret plans; people with eccentric mustaches...
6. Prepare yourself with a good supply of puns; be ready to use these at a moment's notice.
7. Hedges don't just up and move on their own accord. Wake up and smell the clichéd camouflage.
8. If it all goes wrong, console yourself with the thought that it'll be an old joke in a few scenes' time.
9. Have a glass of wine, and congratulate yourself in advance for your ultimate success and long-lasting happiness.
10. Pray that they don't make a sequel and mess everything up again.
Watch this space for signs that you are in a tragedy, and an opera.
Click here for 10 signs that you are in a musical